No Longer Fatherless. ✗

 

In 2001, when I was 10-years-old, my parents became separated. We lived with my mom while my dad would come to see us on a weekly basis during his scheduled visitation times. It was the day before Mother’s Day of 2001, dad’s turn to pick us up; we sat there waiting as the clock went on ticking past the time of his expected arrival. Soon an hour had passed…no show. Hours turned into days, that turned into weeks-still no word or sight of him. How could my dad just have *poof* disappeared like that without reason? Our last resort was to hire detectives who did a detailed search & investigation. None of this made any sense to our family considering he loved us all so much. Going on days without speaking to his own kids just didn’t fit his character. In the end, my father’s car was never found, the little money he had in his bank account was never touched, & the same remains true to this day. It’s been over 15 years & his disappearance is still a mystery.

Have you ever been in a situation where there’s a change in tide regarding something in your life & all you want is what you didn’t get ➔ an explanation, a resolution, anything to help you comprehend & justify why things had to take a turn the way they did? It’s personally one of the hardest things I’ve had & continue to deal with; issues that never end with a solid solution almost feel hopeless, like an open wound that so badly wants to heal, but can’t manage to. I believe that each of us has a different pattern that has woven itself throughout our life & repeats itself-in this case, I’m referencing it as a hardship one continually experiences at different points in time. For me personally, the recurring pattern in my life is the harsh reality of people disappearing out of my life unexpectedly-particularly with romantic relationships-where I’m left with feelings of confusion, disbelief, & thus heartache, (just as I did with my father). & no I don’t believe it’s bc my dating skills are wack, I think it's stemming from & for something greater (just like it is for you & your life’s pattern).

That “something greater” lies in a story. Everyone has one & little did I know that this experience was going to be one of the major parts to my own. The beauty of it all is that despite all the real feelings that came from that experience, God turned my tragedy into triumph! He showed me that even though my earthly father was not in sight, I had (& have) a father that is better than I could have ever asked for myself. Through this revelation & just being raw about life, I am able to use my story to help others see the light in dark situations, even when their hope-tank is running on “Empty.” 

I don’t let this experience of my dad’s disappearance define me as a person. Yes, it most definitely has shaped me, BUT it doesn’t define me & I am not confined because of it! Your story has been tailor-made for you, & believe me when I say it has not been experienced in vain; for it holds MUCH value.

I decided to ask a few of my friends about their dad’s or people of significance in their lives that have acted as a father figure to them. ➔➔➔

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Me: What do you love most about your dad (or those whom have raised you)? How would you describe your dad’s character?”

 

“Words that I feel describe my dad are patient, calm, outgoing, joyful, strong, happy, caring, & loving. I love & cherish the way he makes me laugh whenever i’m feeling down & how he is always by my side. My dad is special because of all the things he has shown me in life…how to build/fix things…& most importantly showing me how to be a loving person.” -Matt


“Hmm…He’s one of a kind! The most hardworking, thoughtful & self-less person I know! Throughout the years when I was growing up, he would always get me flowers & chocolates for Valentine’s Day! So sweet!” -Liz


“I had 4 amazing uncles & a really amazing grandfather. When I needed a father they were always there for me & always made my soccer games. They were my heroes. Showed me how to respect & treat women. Great examples; Kind, loving & caring.” -Josh

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➔➔➔ It warms my heart to hear how my friends described the ones they love & how they have made such a lasting impact on their lives. The love of a father/significant figure is so beautiful & is unique to each individual. Love is just so powerful. 

Back to God, the Father. The Godfather. (mwhaha, had to). Whether you’ve grown up without a parent(s) or just in a family without a stable parenting-system, remember to whom you belong! I’m talking about the one whose heart & whose character is so grand that even the words in the Merriam-Webster Dictionary don’t begin to do justice in describing Him. Just think, if the earthly parents we see or experience do what they can for the ones they love, how much MORE is expected from the man above?! So despite what our current circumstances may be or what has been written as our past history, we must live in the freedom of knowing that we are: NO LONGER FATHERLESS!

“This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It’s adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike “What’s next papa?” God’s Spirit touches our spirits & confirms who we really are. We know who He is, & we know who we are: Father & children. And we know what we are going to get what’s coming to us-an unbelievable inheritance!” (Romans 8:15)